"0 Days Tornado-Free"

You know those work sites that have signs up that say "151 days Accident-Free" to celebrate safety? Iowa needs ones of those that says "___ Days Tornado-Free". Except ours would say 0. We've had tornadoes every day for almost a week. And we've got more tornado watches tonight, too. We spent last night sleeping in the dank, musty storm shelter. 3 boys, 1 mom and 1 freaked-out cat. Good times. Think they've got wifi in Oz?

So what else have we been doing? Well, turns out some of my sibs went out and got themselves all edumakated. Last weekend we celebrated the graduations of one sister from college and another from high school. Way to go, my Smarty Pants girls! Upward and onward!

Need I mention that it took $89 dollars to fill my gas tank?? Probably not, but holy cow. Something's got to give. That is absolute insanity. It's not like I drive a Hummer or an SUV, fergoodnessakes. But I am seriously rethinking my minivan. Anyone drive a grocery-getter? I have my eye on a more fuel-efficient, low-riding grocery-getter.

And guess what else I have been doing?

I have been drinking really great coffee. I mean frothy, foamy, black-as-tar, beautiful espresso. See this beautiful piece of machinery? It is a Francis!Francis! X5 and it is my new BFF. I LOVE this machine. LOVE it. Is it possible to love an espresso machine? It is if that machine is the FF X5! Isn't she a beauty??? I am still perfecting this sucker - she seems to like me more if I feed her pods instead of ground beans. Whenever I do the ground beans she misbehaves. I will prevail!


And speaking of BFFs, my BFF is now the proud mommy of a gorgeous baby boy. He is 7+ lb of absolute perfection. I spent this evening staring at his tiny toes, his perfect little ears, the most darling little chin... ugh! Amazing! Congrats to BFF and DD! Love you both, congrats on your son! I still can't believe you were birthing yesterday and home, comfortable and so mobile today.

I have pics coming soon that would even make Mr. Perfectly Manicured Lawn proud. And you want to hear something so so funny??? One of our other (nice!) neighbors, came over to... get this... ask Handy Man for landscaping advice!!! Aheheha ehea ahoooho HOO HO HO heeeh eaaaa. Oh, that just makes my tummy hurt! Isn't that too, too funny?! Oh my goodness. Wait, I've got to tell it again. Our neighbor came over - to our yard - and looked around. Then, he asked *my* Handy Man for some tips. AHha ahah ahe he ha eha eah hooo heee ha. I spent the next 10 minutes howling in laughter in our yard until I had tears running down my cheeks. Awww, Handy Man... my dear, sweet, green-thumbed Handy Man.

So hopefully you'll forgive me for the pause in between blogs. It's been a whirlwind - quite literally - around here!

Howdy Y'all!

Green. Warm. Lush. Alive. What a change for a Northern girl. Texas is, well... huge. So maybe I should be more specific. The part of Texas (pronounced Tex-iz by the locals) near the gulf shore is tropical, warm and very alive this time of year.

In comparison, I think of words like...

Brown. Cold. Barren. Dormant.

... to describe my area this time of year. It's been a particularly rough winter. Usually by now we've had a little mercy. Global warming you say??? No ma'am. No wonder we are hard to convince to participate in global warming-relief efforts. No one believes it around here. We've had a colder year this year than the last nearly 15 years that I know of. Warming Shwarming.

Handy Man took some pictures while I was gone and emailed them to see what I was missing. He saw this:


I was looking at these:




Can anyone name those root things for me? Google is calling me, but I haven't had a chance to look 'em up. Anyone? Anyone? But the weekend was so much more than pretty Tex-iz scenery. It was a fantastic retreat! Good-bye civilization, good-bye coldness, hello good conversation, wee hours, lots of scrapbooking, and a homeschool partner-in-crime. It was so refreshing to have a great conversations about school, home, life, stuff that matters, stuff that doesn't. I feel reinvigorated. Thanks Jen for playing hostess with the mostest. Thanks to J-Bug and her pham who spent waaayyy too much time in a car on my behalf. I had a wonderful time and I'm lucky to know you. The Pham is gorgeous and fun to be around. Thank you for traveling to me! See y'all soon!

It was my first time meeting Jennefer. Travel across the country to meet a total stranger, you ask? Have you lost your marbles??? Well, that's debatable, fer sure. Jennefer is even more than her blog reveals. She is beautiful, fun, smart (don't let her tell you differently), and an absolute joy. Those are some lucky men-folk in her house! I enjoyed her company so much it was sad to see the hours fly by. And even though she didn't get nearly as much accomplished as she had planned because of our chit-chatting, I hope we can visit again soon. What a dear friend. There were others we had hoped who could make it who did not. Next time, girls. ;)

Can you believe my Handy Man planned most of this trip without me?! I must've been really driving him batty that he wanted me gone so badly. Thanks for the get-away Handy Man. It was a ggrrrreat trip. Regretfully, the people pictures did not turn out. There was a light glare above our heads. This was the only decent one I could salvage. I am SO disappointed.



I'm already lookin' forward to next time.

Warmth, Glorious Warmth!

If it weren't for the threat of 50 mph wind gusts I would just be squealing and jumping up and down right now. Now I just have a big smile and a nervous hop.

I'll preempt that by admitting I am the most motion sick prone person I know. I was car sick as a child, but still able to enjoy a good amusement park. As the years tack themselves on, it seems increasingly worse. Not kidding, I need dramamine to watch the Discovery Channel. I do a lot of travel, but I'm always Susie Passenger who is so loaded up on Dramamine I fall asleep before take off and I'm woken up by the pilot announcing our gate arrival. It's sooo much better than the embarassing alternative!

But I would take a commuter plane to get where I am going! Can you guess?

I am headed for a girls only weekend retreat hosted by one of the blogosphere's sweetest bloggers, Jennefer from Smooth Stones Academy. Jennefer was one of the girls (ahem, women) I connected to immediately. She has 3 little boys, homeschools, has a lot of the same goals for her boys as I do for mine. I'll forgive her for living somewhere so gloriously warm! As a bonus, I will get to hang out with my friend J-Bug who lives far enough away that this is a special occasion! Okay, now I'm jumping up and down.

So goodbye Artic Tundra, hello warmth! I'll take pics so my Arctic Tundra friends can remember what green looks like. ;)

Another Round of "Ask LWM3B"

It's been awhile since I've answered some of the reader emails. I guess if I don't ever answer them, people are going to stop asking. So here are some I found while cleaning out my inbox yesterday...

(1.) You travel a lot. Where ya' goin' all these places, girlfriend?

Well, I don't know if I travel extensively, but I do a bit of business here and there. I am a telecommuter. My office is in White Plains, NY (home of the March of Dimes' National Office). So, I head out there quarterly. I also do a few conferences with some of our amazing volunteers and some for speaking or learning opportunities. So when I'm off hopping tarmacs, it's usually all in my quest to support NICU families, either learning more about it or helping others learn more about it.

This year, though, I will also be traveling to BlogHer in San Fran and to my sister MOBS's wedding in Mexico. Are any of you heading to BlogHer???

(2.) Tell me how to make that grilled peanut butter thing, please?

Ohh... do try this. Really. It's so super easy. Make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Now, just like a grilled cheese, generously butter the outside and grill on your stovetop. Be careful because PB tends to melt - you need just enough to give the bread a crunch! I eat it with a fork, because it's just too messy to pick up. It's dessert! Next time, I'll tackle the peanut butter and cereal combo.

(3.) How did you meet that Handy Man of yours? Do tell.

Oh my. I'll give the abbreviated version. I was teaching Italian at a big university near Handy Man's hometown. I was a young thing. For whatever reason, Handy Man decided he wanted to learn Italian with the plans of taking a trip over to Europe for their amazing food. (On a side note, only a man plans his vacations following his stomach!). So he went about finding a local tutor, and I was who he found. He was my student. And I almost didn't take him - all my other students were college-age preparing for exams or in my classes at the U. I couldn't figure out why "some old guy" wanted lessons. But serendipitously, I was so broke that I had to take any $$$ opportunity I could find. So, that's how it started. And he was a GREAT student. ;)

(4.) How long do you plan to homeschool?

For however long it continues to be successful. :)

(5.) Think you'll stay in that house forever?

Most days I'd like to. But if our state ever changed the homeschool laws, we'd pack up the boybarians in a nanosecond and head to Illinois or Texas - or wherever we could maintain our schooling status quo. If Handy Man decided to take his business elsewhere, we'd go. I am lucky enough to be able to do my jobs wherever the wind blows us. This house is special to us, but ultimately, it's just a house. Now, if Handy Man decided to build again in our local area, I'd kill him.

(6.) How did you get started with design. How can I get started?

I still wake up some days in complete disbelief that people ask me to design their blogs. Boy that was a crazy path. I guess it all boils down to: see a need, fill a need. (Name that movie!) There is a huge need to be filled. And moms especially seem to appreciate working with other mom-treprenuers. I absolutely love everything about it, but other than an affinity for design, I have no educational background in this field. My majors were in language (both pathology of and foreign) and it turns out that coding is really just another language. It was pretty easy to pick up.

So you think you want to learn? I first suggest in investing in a good graphic program: I use Adobe CS3, but even Photoshop Elements is a great starter program. You can find CS2 for pretty cheap now that the next thing is out, and CS2 can do nearly everything CS3 can do. Then... well... some people buy books. I don't own a single CSS or html book. Some people swear by it, but I really need something more hands on. So I started a test blog and just started playing with the code and watching what happened. If you think a book would help you - there are hundreds. But sometimes trial and error is simply the best teacher. I will be starting to post TIPS for Bloggers over at my other blog: Graphically Designing.

I was going to post the search options again - some of those are too too funny - but there have been some creepy ones lately. I need to follow those and change those posts. I'm getting some weirdo traffic. So those of you looking for anything above rated PG - you're barking up the wrong tree.

Braving the Interstates in Iowa

About 3 hours into our normally only 2.5 hour drive, moving at about 15 mph on a major interstate, we had one of those scary driving moments. The roads were terrible; a layer of mushy, sloppy snow covered ice and frozen sleet. The semi ahead of us was spinning and no longer able to make it up the hill. That's when it started sliding back down toward our van.

Handy Man put our achy, old minivan into first and willed the van to move out of the way. The tires spun, the engine revved and the semi was sliding backward down the right lane of the interstate toward us. The left lane was moving, and Handy Man tried to get the van to catch a patch of snow and pull out of the way. We sat for what felt like an eternity in slow-motion spinning our tires uselessly on a patch of ice.

Just when I thought we'd be pushed back down the interstate by a 10-ton truck, the tires (recently replaced - thank you, Handy Man!) caught the snow and we pulled out of the way as the semi slid to where we were just moments before. I could tell Handy Man was near panic; it's one thing to have a semi heading right toward you, but when it's heading right for your entire precious cargo, 3 of which are young boys, it's an almost unbearable amount of pressure. He stayed remarkably calm, considering the potential danger we were in.

It's amazing what northern drivers put themselves through each year. I have had more than enough of this weather. If it wasn't absolutely necessary to travel in the snow I would avoid it entirely. Thursday night however, was tricky. The weather wasn't nearly as dangerous near us, and we had to get Trouble to appointments on Friday at a Children's Hospital 150 miles from home.

I'm happy to report that we made it safely. It took us 4 hours to drive the last 120 miles of the trip. The boys were disappointed that the Ronald McDonald House was full and unable to accommodate us. We were able to stay at a hotel near the hospital that had a 100-foot waterslide. It was so much fun after a long day of grueling appointments to spend the next morning playing in the pool and sliding down the waterslide.

As for the appointments themselves, like any time one needs to spend an entire day at a children's hospital, it's never what a parent wants a child to endure. Trouble was a trooper for 8 solid hours of evaluations. It's more than any 4-year old should have to tolerate. He was so well-behaved and tolerant. Handy Man and I were so proud of him.

Ahhhhhh. Feels Good.

Ever take a "mental health weekend"?

I almost didn't. Wednesday night I managed to food-poison all the meat-eating members of my family with homemade spaghetti and meatballs. Even though the meat was fresh, it made us sick. Thursday was a day of reckoning for me, I think I really scared poor Handy Man. It's the sickest I've been since I was a child. I missed important work meetings, school, chores. I missed it all. So I almost didn't make the get-away weekend.

But boy am I glad I did.

Like many stay-at-home, work-at-home, homeschooling moms - I am with my children 24-7. Don't get me wrong - I count my blessings, then count them again, every day. But, I don't even pee by myself most days. Little fingers and paws stick their digits under the door, often demanding to know my business, "You goin' pee-pee, Mom?" "Are you *still* goin' pee-pee?" And my favorite, when they hear wrappers, "Are you eatin' candy in there?"

I spent Friday through Sunday with 6 girlfriends in Kansas City. One of the girls, who happens to live in coastal Maine, brought *live* fresh, Maine lobster that had been plucked off the docks that day, and wrapped in seaweed. For this land-locked city girl, it was such a hoot to see. All the "rules" were thrown out... good food, no counting calories, adult drinks, with a safe place to get silly, good friends, with love and support. It was a slumber-party with bodies on couches, spare bedrooms, air mattresses on the floor kind of weekend. My girlfriend, J-Bug, from waayyy down south Texas even got to build herself a snowman. Okay, it was a pregnant snowman with big ol' ta-tas... but for a girl who spends 10 months a year in flip flops, it was fun to see.

I am now refreshed, revived and so grateful for the friendship and love of 6 beautiful women. A very special thank you to our hostess with the mostest. Thank you for your generous hospitality. To the women who came from afar and their families who lent us their wives and mothers, thank you! To Handy Man, who wrangled the boybarians with professional finesse, thanks for the vacation days. Love you.

Curse You, PB Loco

I was once happy about supermarket Jif. I thought, you know... choosy moms chose Jif. I'm a choosy mom. I savored their creamy goodness in every sneaked peanut butter sandwich filled with way-too-many calories. And grilled PBJ? It's not food, it's desert.

I need the protein, I'd rationalize.

But then, while up in Minnesota at the Mall of America, my sisters-in-law casually mention the samples at the Peanut Butter and the cheese stores.

Ohhhh, I love samples.

So I sample. And sample... and it was good. I mean, I did just fill my belly at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co (you can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it...) so perhaps my tastebuds were overworked.

I bought two jars.

Then we reurned to the slightly less arctic region of home.

Omgoodness. Sososososo good. Turns out non-bubba-gump-shrimp taste buds LOVE PB Loco. MMMmmmmm Raspberry White Chocolate on toast. It's like edible heaven on a spoon. And if you want to see the boybarians put away a whole pack of graham crackers - hand them a jar of Dark Chocolate.



Why oh why did we only buy 2? I suddenly desired PB Loco by the VATful. Einstein betrayed Jif in a nanosecond. "I love PB Loco, Mom. Don't buy that Wal-Mart kind" And by Wal-Mart kind, he means Jif.

No problem, I think, I'll just call up there.

They were having a big sale, like 1/2 price. I'll order us some mmm mmm good PB Loco. Like cases of it.

Guess what? The place closed. There is NO PB Loco at Mall of America. They are gone. Like sands through my fingers... so flowed the PB Loco.

Curse You, PB Loco. Now since you've ruined Jif forever, and abandoned your post at my nearest location, I would have to pay $50 for 6 measly jars to ship from Timbuktu to the Arctic Tundra.. 6 tiny jars that we would go through in about 2 weeks. Haven't you ever seen my boybarians EAT?!

*sigh* Curse you, PB Loco. You've ruined peanut butter.




ps - Dear PB Loco President, if you'd like to send me free peanut butter for this shameless plug, I'll happily surrender my secret tundra shipping address.

Appyhay Ewnay Earyay

This weekend was supposed to be a trip down south - well more south than Iowa. In Kansas City, it's predictably 10-20 degrees warmer than the arctic tundra we call Iowa. But our friend Princess Leia got sick, and the boybarians were sooo bummed! So, we're rough tough Boybarians! We're not going to sit around and be sad. No way!

We're goin' north.

Wait. North??? Now c'mon. Really?! Who does that at the end of December? Who goes *more* north than they already are?!

Apparently we do.

But look at this face...


It was so worth it for that face. And the fact that my nephew, Baby J, is the most laid back, best baby in the world.

To help console Einstein's broken heart about missing a weekend with Princess Leia and her family, we took the boys to the second best place in the world for a boybarian... Legoland at the Mall of America.

OMgoodness. It was like little boy heaven there. They didn't want to leave. "Can we seep here, peez?" asked Trouble. "Yeah!" chime in the others.

We ate at the Rainforest Cafe, caught some of the great sales, basked in all the glory that is Ikea, and went back (over and over!) to the Legos. The boys didn't even mind that the hotel was renovating and except for the room, which was fantastic, the hotel was a dump. And smelly. And right by the noisy airport.

Apparently, Legos are enough to keep the boys happy, and the 1-2 punch of Baby J and Ikea are enough to keep me happy. Handy Man mostly just tolerated us. What a great guy.

All four boybarians:


It's almost too good to be true:


Little boy heaven:


It takes all 45 Einstein pounds to make these Legos stick.


Jango Fett - It's a better combo than chocolate and peanut butter. It's Star Wars and Legos.


Life With My 3 Bionicles:


What a view. Don'tcha love how he hovers protectively over his boys?


Today, the boybarians did their yearly purging. It felt so good to see Handy Man drive off with 5 huge contractor bags full of donations. The boys were so grateful for their new Star Wars legos and figures, they were surprisingly generous with their donations this year. I think my boys are growing up! All the "baby toys" are off to find new homes.

*sigh*

I think I need to go back to Minnesota and go cuddle Baby J some more.

---

My wish for you all is a happy, healthy, prosperous, full-of-learning and adventure, wonderful 2008. Happy New Year!

We're stuck and we can't get out!

The news warned of snow... wind... blustery winter weather. We left early and braved the trip. We made it safe and sound - warm and comfy. We spent the holiday playing dodge ball, basketball, swimming and hanging out at the rec center. And by 'we' I mean the boys. ;) I honed my Christmas treat eating skills. Fudge... mmmm mm fudge!

But then it was time to head home. And it was nnnaaaaasty out there! There was no way we'd make the 2.5 hours back home.

So here we are, camping out in a hotel about 1 mile away from the rec center; it took about 15 minutes to get here. It was a crazy, nearly-blind drive even to get here. I was so relieved to find a place so close. Phew!

Hope all the mid-westerners out there are safe and sound this weekend, too. Here are a few pics from my laptop cam of us amusing ourselves in the hotel room. The weekly report is delayed - coming as soon as we can get home. Handy Man has something up his sleeve.

GO BEARS!







And now we are like BFFs, dear readers, since you've now seen my family in pjs and me with no make up 3 times on my blog. Sayonara to whatever vanity I once had. :P

Travels and Lovely Locks

She's alive!

The boybarians, Handy Man and I are back from 8 days out of state. Did you think I had abandoned my post? We made the trek to the Windy City area to spend the holidays with fam and friends, then while the boybarians stayed and got spoiled by Nanie, I hopped tarmacs to NY and Handy Man headed home.

NY still has colorful trees. Here in the arctic it's looked like winter all month. The forests overlooking the Hudson were gorgeous this time of year. It was an intensive few days of work, now back to the grind! We start 3 weeks of school on Monday to wrap up the year. In January, Trouble is an official preschooler (*gulp!* nervous mommy!) and Picasso and Einstein resume 1st and 2nd grade.

In other news... I'm sporting a new do! For two years now I've been gearing up for Locks of Love. The deed has been done. I think the photos are self explanatory. I didn't cry too much. ;)

When Mom's Away...

... boybarians will play!

I spent a few days in Washington D.C. for work. I work for a big non-profit and we all assembled in The Capitol to help make change for America's babies. It was also a conference for our volunteer leaders. It was a great event. I, the Joe Photo, did not get out my camera even once. But Carissa took some, so I have something to post. Thanks Carissa! Here is one of Dainty, me and K-Co after a long day of conferences:



And look at these pretty, pretty volunteers. I have the best job in the world! Top is K-Co, bottom is Carissa and J-bug.



So how did Handy Man fare?

He's such a show off! My mom came to help for several of the days, and the boybarians were in great hands. Who better to watch 3 wild boys than an ER nurse who happens to be their Nanie? After she left, he really upped the game. They made orange pancakes with cool Halloween-shaped cutters. He took them to a place where they can all paint ceramics. They are still talking about it. Then, to really show me how easy it is, he blew all the leaves off the lawn and trimmed all our trees (lots!). The house was in pretty good shape. I am impressed. Even more impressive, Trouble came down with a tummy bug on Sunday and Handy Man dealt with stuff coming out of our 4 year old in ways it should not. ;)

Trouble has rotavirus. So far, the others are okay. The poor boy has yucked up many outfits, me, his bedding, my bedding and taken several baths. Through it all he bounces up in between "rounds" and is boybaric and happy as ever. What a little champ. Smelly, but very cute.

Here they are getting ready to paint:

Once there was a Little Girl...

When you were growing up, did you think you'd be where you are now?

At 7, I wanted to be Mary Lou Retton. Or Madonna. Or a veterinarian. Or my 2nd grade teacher. By 17, I think had outgrown most of those fantasies... the uneven bars ripped quarter-sized bloody holes in my hands, I didn't even love my high school's A Capella group; puppies and kitties (even very cute ones) poop a lot. I really hate poop. At 17, I also had a very good science teacher and decided perhaps science was in my future. I would come to later regret that decision, and the fact that I never had any career counseling worth a hoot. I sucked at science. It took only 6 weeks of Organic Chem in college to make me realize that. By that point I was 30-some hours into a science major and unless I was willing to commit to another year of undergrad, I had to suck it up and keep going. I switched, at 19, to Speech Pathology and Audiology. I knew even then that my real love was language. Speech Path was as close of a science major to my love of language as I could get and still graduate. I ultimately also earned enough credits in my second language, Italian, to qualify for a major, too.

By the time I graduated from college, I realized I had no definite employable skills. So I up and moved to Europe. It sounds really hippie dippy, but there was logic in there somewhere. It was the best choice I've ever made. I didn't stay there as long as I would have liked. I ran out of money and was forced to come back to the States to pay off college loans. But while living in Italy, I became fluent, got a job, enrolled in Italian college classes (and somehow finagled American credits for them). I met some dear friends, traveled, saw some of the most beautiful cities on the planet and grew up. A lot. It's a pretty cool feeling to be in strange countries, to be young, independent, and brave. There were times when no one else on the planet knew where I was on the globe except me. The now me, in the age of terrorism, war abroad and anti-American propaganda, mom of 3 boys... this me... finds that terribly reckless and scary. But the 22-year-old me loved it.

It was an age of self-discovery, making choices because I wanted them instead of needing them for a college application, or because someone else thought I should. I went where I wanted to go, saw what I wanted to see, ate when I was hungry, slept when I was tired, and moved on to the next country when I had seen enough.

I'm not exactly sure how I got from globe-trotting to living a fairly homebody existence in a forest in rural Iowa, but it's not a transition I regret. At 23, I met a boy. The boy. And I would have followed him anywhere. Lucky for me, he's only moved about 150 miles in his whole life. So I didn't have much following to do. And while globe-trotting around the world may sound exotic and exciting, nothing fills up a person like creating a home with the one person who makes you truly happy, then filling that home with little boybarians, and making a life that suits you all.

Did I ever think I'd be a 30-something wife, stay-at-home-mom-type who homeschools in Iowa? I promise the 17-year-old version of myself would have found that hysterical.

Luggage and Apples and Noggins, Oh My!

The trip was well, an adventure, a little hot and a lesson in vanity. This is my 4th attempt at blogging since my return.

Off to the airport I went and two small planes later, I landed smoothly in the Big Apple. I go and wait in baggage claim... and wait... and wait... and wait. No baggage for me! My traveling nightmare had been realized. Ugh!

And to be perfectly honest about my faults... vanity is a big one. So here I am, 6 states away with only the clothes on my back, a planner, a purse and an iPod. Granted, those are great things to have if you're going to have nothing else, to be sure. I had no clothes, no toiletries, no toothbrush and no *gasp* make-up. Now, I'm not exactly the type of girl who plasters on make-up and gets all dolled up. But, I do have expectation for looking "nice" and a little bit of make-up is on that list. The TSA's new flight regulations are clearly harder on us girly girls. I watched with woeful awareness of the gender discrepancies as sprite businessman after sprite businessman strode by, quite confident with all his carried-on belongings.

I headed off to my hotel feeling quite dejected with only my planner, my purse and my ipod. I rise early, hoping my luggage was delivered. Nope. So off I go to work, buying eyeliner in the hotel giftshop. I make myself up as best as a girl can who is wearing the same clothes she was wearing already for 24 hours and has no make-up.

Telecommuting is one of those glorious arrangements in which I can do my stuff and dress however I so choose... impressing coworkers with only my attempts at html and phone skills (ha!). I was now off to actually meet many of my coworkers for the very first time. What an impression I must've made... crumpled, no make-up, wearing the jeans and comfy T I'd traveled in. Vanity is so cruel!

I was feeling quite underhanded and spent the day overcompensating by joking and laughing at myself about Vanity's cruel joke to force me to meet everyone in such a state. I would have taken a picture, but even my camera was off hopping tarmacs somewhere.

The rest of the trip went much more smoothly until my hotel lost power on the last night. After about 8 hours in the heat of NY summer, I packed up my things and actually went to work just to hang out in the AC.

So how did Handy Man and the boybarians fare?

I came home to a spotlessly immaculate house, with clean, fed children. I walked through the house so impressed! Granted they ate fast food, had a "chocolate fest", and loaded up with new Star Wars characters and their very own light sabers. But! All their school work was done, they did what they were supposed to do and had plenty of time for fun to boot. They even sent me a few photos which I'll share. Not bad for his first time alone, eh? Yes, Handy Man might be insane. Are there any doubts after this creation???

Einstein and Picasso have a Jedi dual


Trouble shows off the loot Dad got him


Handy Man found some time to whip up some meals (and play with Photoshop!)

We quickly fell back into our regular boybaric schedules as Handy Man headed back to work and the boybarians and I resumed our normal day. So much so, in fact, that Trouble added another notch to his "troubled" moniker and fell off his stool... earning himself a trip to the ER, a mild concussion and a black eye. He's fine - it wouldn't be Trouble if he didn't scare his momma every now and then. And what did Handy Man say?

"I'm so glad he did that on your watch!"

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

So, I'm going out of town this weekend for a couple days for work. (Those of you new to my blog, I work part-time moderating a website for a big non-profit.)

And suddenly I find myself obsessed with things like... the number of pairs of underpants my boys have available... Oh, and whether or not there are enough fruit snacks in the pantry. I've checked our toothpaste stock twice now. I've printed extra lessons for the boys to do while I'm gone. I'm frantically washing all the sheets and towels in the house.

Why? I have no idea. I will be gone almost exactly 72 hours. There is no chance the boys will run out of underpants, fruit snacks, toothpaste or things to do for school. It would be impossible for them to burn through all the sheets and washcloths - unless they all come down with the stomach flu at once, and in that case I've got bigger problems.

Handy Man's in charge. He has never taken charge of the boybarians, the house, the cooking, cleaning, the sheer number of meals, single-handedly, ever. I have gone out of town before (exactly 3 times) without them in the past. And things were much crazier back then - Trouble was oxygen dependant, still slept in our room, still much more risky. The kids were younger, not all potty trained, less independent. But, Handy Man had reinforcements. My mom came to help. And she is not only an expert child raiser, she is an emergency room trauma nurse. I mean, it's easy to leave knowing the person at home is exactly the person you'd go to in case of an emergency.

And for some reason this time I feel like I have a million things to do in order to leave and have my house not in a pile of rubble and dust upon my return. Go figure.

So, what are the odds I'll come home to a clean house, the kids will have done school, not watched TV (they only have TV privileges on the weekends), have brushed their teeth morning and night, all be dressed decently and Handy Man won't have completely lost his mind? I'll take wagers and get back to you upon my return.

I'm off to pack the Dramamine...