"0 Days Tornado-Free"

You know those work sites that have signs up that say "151 days Accident-Free" to celebrate safety? Iowa needs ones of those that says "___ Days Tornado-Free". Except ours would say 0. We've had tornadoes every day for almost a week. And we've got more tornado watches tonight, too. We spent last night sleeping in the dank, musty storm shelter. 3 boys, 1 mom and 1 freaked-out cat. Good times. Think they've got wifi in Oz?

So what else have we been doing? Well, turns out some of my sibs went out and got themselves all edumakated. Last weekend we celebrated the graduations of one sister from college and another from high school. Way to go, my Smarty Pants girls! Upward and onward!

Need I mention that it took $89 dollars to fill my gas tank?? Probably not, but holy cow. Something's got to give. That is absolute insanity. It's not like I drive a Hummer or an SUV, fergoodnessakes. But I am seriously rethinking my minivan. Anyone drive a grocery-getter? I have my eye on a more fuel-efficient, low-riding grocery-getter.

And guess what else I have been doing?

I have been drinking really great coffee. I mean frothy, foamy, black-as-tar, beautiful espresso. See this beautiful piece of machinery? It is a Francis!Francis! X5 and it is my new BFF. I LOVE this machine. LOVE it. Is it possible to love an espresso machine? It is if that machine is the FF X5! Isn't she a beauty??? I am still perfecting this sucker - she seems to like me more if I feed her pods instead of ground beans. Whenever I do the ground beans she misbehaves. I will prevail!


And speaking of BFFs, my BFF is now the proud mommy of a gorgeous baby boy. He is 7+ lb of absolute perfection. I spent this evening staring at his tiny toes, his perfect little ears, the most darling little chin... ugh! Amazing! Congrats to BFF and DD! Love you both, congrats on your son! I still can't believe you were birthing yesterday and home, comfortable and so mobile today.

I have pics coming soon that would even make Mr. Perfectly Manicured Lawn proud. And you want to hear something so so funny??? One of our other (nice!) neighbors, came over to... get this... ask Handy Man for landscaping advice!!! Aheheha ehea ahoooho HOO HO HO heeeh eaaaa. Oh, that just makes my tummy hurt! Isn't that too, too funny?! Oh my goodness. Wait, I've got to tell it again. Our neighbor came over - to our yard - and looked around. Then, he asked *my* Handy Man for some tips. AHha ahah ahe he ha eha eah hooo heee ha. I spent the next 10 minutes howling in laughter in our yard until I had tears running down my cheeks. Awww, Handy Man... my dear, sweet, green-thumbed Handy Man.

So hopefully you'll forgive me for the pause in between blogs. It's been a whirlwind - quite literally - around here!

Reason #574638526 That Our Neighbors Love Us...

Mr. Perfectly Manicured Lawn stood in his lawn pretending to water his lawn and pick up every twig in his yard. Under his breath I'm sure he was cursing Handy Man's name. He just can't see the potential. Can you see it?

Did you know that if you do all that digging - you'll probably find one of these? This pic is for my dad. Hey Dad, wanna come to Iowa and visit us??

Friends 'n' Rock Gardens

These are my favorite pics from this week.

We had friends over and I'm not sure who had more fun, Handy Man or the 7 kids running through the house! Our friends are just perfectly Trouble's size. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. ;)





And guess what! Guess who won't be the scourge of the neighborhood anymore? Well, we still might be. We're not sure we can keep anything alive. Maybe that's why Handy Man had 6 huge rock sculpture things delivered. What will Mr. Perfectly Manicured Lawn think of rocks in our garden?. As for the living plants... well, time will tell on that one. Handy Man has never planted a thing in his life. My experience? I once planted tulips. The squirrels dug them up and the deer ate them. It was a raging success. ;) But don't my menfolk look awfully handsome working in the yard?

Keepin' it Real and the Value of Camaraderie

So much going on here! Notice the new song? Trouble picked it out just for YOU. It's from Shrek 2; and fits nicely with his current obsession with all things Shrek. What Trouble may not know is that he is MY hero.

First, I need to acknowledge this package that arrived at my door this morning.



Oh my goodness! It wasn't signed, so I'm not sure to thank (Mom? Was that you?). So THANK YOU! Handy Man and I enjoyed some great coffee this morning. In fact, it was the best cup in awhile. You know how some mornings it just tastes better? Mmmm... look at it! Pure bliss! I owe it all to the wonderful sender of the beautiful, delicious illy.





Also! Our school room is getting an 'Extreme Schoolroom Makeover". We have a college dorm-like hodge podge of bookshelves. We have several, but we've outgrown them. Currently, a stack of gorgeous leather Brittanicas is sitting on my floor. For shame! So Handy Man is making the entire back wall built in shelves. Above the right side computer work stations he is also building shelving up there, as well. He moved everything into the center of the room, tore off the trim, and I can hear the saw and router working hard in our garage. I need to send extra props to Handy Man because it's f-f-f-freezing out there! He is working in the garage with a little space heater that's hardly doing anything. I went out only to deliver him some hot illy, and shuffled back in. Brrrr! Handy Man, we really appreciate your hard work in the freezing cold. You are so good to us.

So this is for all you homeschoolers who think homeschool moms only blog the beautiful, perfect, tidy spaces. This is the reality of my schoolroom. We haven't been in there all week.

That ^ is my photoshop rendering of the space where the shelves will be.


Handy Man, hard at work.

And you-whoo, Nester, this is totally for you. We hung curtains in the schoolroom!



The fabric reminded me of Anna Comstock's Handbook of Nature Study - or it would, if the book were in color. It felt like a nature journal, and I loved the plants, cocoons and butterflies all over. The cocoon reminds me a little of Trouble's birth... forced before he was ready. The beautiful butterflies remind me of the gentle grace of all my boys. AND! I didn't sew them. They were purchased from Ikea and they came with an iron, no-sew kit. All we did was cut to the desired length, fold over the iron on part, and heat. Aren't they pretty?! Thanks, Nester! I would have never attempted something like this before I "met" you.


Lastly, I'm going to weigh in on something a little outside my comfort zone. I hope I don't alienate anyone. I've noticed a growing group of homeschool mom bloggers deciding to quit blogging. While many of them chose bible quotes to support their decisions, I'd like to offer an opinion of my own. My family is Catholic. I don't pretend to know the culture you talk about when you talk about "Titus women", Proverbs something-or-another, or "helpmeets". But I can speak a little about the value of blogging. Women who are abandoning their blogs because they feel it isn't Godly or is selfish may be forgetting some things that I've found very comforting. When you invest time in your writing, you give yourself the gift of time. Moms, you are more than just your kids' moms and your husbands' wives. Investing in yourself... be it writing, reading or researching.. is valuable. I don't know about you, but writing is my way of organizing my thoughts. Some of the women abandoning their blogs talk about investing time in "real" relationships. I understand that for many of us, we are separated geographically beyond what is ever possible for face-to-face meetings, but I urge you not to discount the value of a comforting word.

When I visit your blogs and leave you a message, I am no less sincere than if I pick up the phone or have coffee with a girlfriend. The blogosphere is a viable way for mothers who may be otherwise unable to meet like-minded people for conversation, friendship, support, camaraderie. When I was first introduced to "networking" online, it was foreign to me, too. I was stuck at home with a very fragile baby and two toddlers. I couldn't go meet other moms for mommy-n-me groups. I couldn't take a sick baby to a park. I had no other way to meet those who might understand my life. The same can be true for homeschoolers. Sure, we aren't stuck at home. We see museums, parks, science centers, field trips, stores, dance classes, etc. Some of us have active local groups. For those of us who do not, the relationships formed online should not be so easily dismissed.

I also feel that allowing yourself an outlet - creative, for frustrations, for organizing thoughts, for networking, for learning - allows you to grow. Blogging exposes you to new ideas, new people, unusual customs, and resources you might not otherwise discover. It allows you to see others' gifts, and take comfort in their trials. I urge those of you who feel blogging is only a waste of time to reconsider what you've gained, or furthermore... what you offer to those who visit you. So many of you have been an incredible blessing to me. Hopefully, some of my trials and triumphs and the absolute insanity here could mean something to you, too. I have made some *real* geniune friendships networking with other moms online. It isn't impersonal. My network of friends has provided comfort, laughs, support, wisdom and friendship. I urge bloggers to reach out to eachother. As technology grows, your friendships are not limited to those in your geographical area. You can find meaningful relationships that are not bound by state lines.

E Pluribus Unum.

Warmly,

Punkin' Patch Ranch

Fall never feels like fall until we've hit a local pumpkin patch. This year was so much fun. We're relatively new to our area; the local place was brand new to us. What a fun place. We made a Saturday appointment to meet our landscape designer - a young, smart girl who asked my preferences about plants and trees I'd never heard of. Our yard has nothing yet, mostly dirt with some sod in front. She mentioned that there was "stuff for kids to do" at the nursery, and she wasn't kidding. 120 acres of kid heaven! There were bounce houses and slide, marshmallow roasting, hay rack rides, pumpkin picking, tricycle track racing, a snack bar and football toss statues. It was like little boy paradise. So while Handy Man went over our floor plan and the perimeter of the house, the boys and I got started on the fun stuff.

This week'll be a short one for the boybarians. I'm traveling for work this week, and the boys get "Nanie time". They won't miss me even for a second.

The Box

Handy Man is, verifiably, a pack rat. I've known this about him since we met. Well, maybe not the moment we met, but certainly the moment we shared a home for the first time. Everything I could call my own back then fit in the trunk of a 1993 Dodge Intrepid. Not so with Handy Man. Granted he was an "older man" (a mature 28 to my 24), and had longer to accumulate stuff... but with Handy Man came boxes and boxes of stuff. He didn't actually unpack most of it. Instead it remained piled in our basements or garages for move, after move, after move.

Handy Man has moved 8 times since graduating college more than 14 years ago. Most recently, he designed and built our new home which was just completed (well...) earlier this year. With him, again came all those boxes.

This weekend, Handy Man took on the huge job of cleaning and organizing our garages. This was no simple chore. We've never parked in either of them because they've been filled with saw horses, tile cutters, building materials and scraps, sawdust, and again, those pesky boxes.

So I finally get around to asking him what he'll do with them. "Well, this one we can unpack and that one we'll move into the basement."

"What about that one?" I ask, pointing to a dusty box in a pile.

"Oh, that? It's not mine."

Huh? What?

"Not yours? What do you mean not yours? Who's box is it?" Gracious. Not only is he a pack rat, but now he's hoarding other people's stuff.

"Well, what's in it?" Surely he knows that.

"I've never opened it." He says, matter-of-factly, like it's normal that he has a box that doesn't belong to him in our garage, contents unknown.

By now, Handy Man is looking amused. He's laughing. He is insane.

"The box belongs to the mother of my roommate I lived with for a few months after college."

Oh. Well. His ex-roommate's mother's stuff. That makes perfect sense. Of course he has his ex-roommate's mother's stuff.

"Ummm, Handy Man? What year did you live with this roommate?"

"1994. For about 9 months."

"And you have carried this box of stuff, your ex-roommate's mother's unknown contents, to 8 different houses over the last almost 15 years. And you have NO idea what's in it?"

"Right." He is looking at me like it's completely rational, and I'm looking at him like he has three heads.

"Well, open it." I demand. "Let's see what you've been hauling around for the last decade and a half.

"It's not mine" he objects.

So, dear readers, what should Handy Man do? Should he open the box? Throw it away? Hang on it around for another decade and a half? Try and find his ex-roommate's mother and ship it? I'm creating a poll. You tell me what Handy Man should do.

Break Down of "Super Mom"

You all know her - a SuperMom. She's the one with the well-mannered children who are both polite and do well in school. She balances work, chores, charity, faith, family time and spouse time seemingly flawlessly. Her laundry is done, her bed is made, and her children's closets only contain clothes that fit and are in the current season. Her house is always spotless, even if you need to drop something off or pick it up with hardly any warning. She knows the best deals, the best restaurants and has the perfect occasional baby-sitter.

How does she do it all?

I am a work-at-home mom. I homeschool my boybarians, check in daily with my employer (lucky for me, both of my bosses are incredibly wonderful to work for) and run the household. I officially work 20 hours a week, but it's never cut off there - especially in peak season like right now. I do manage to clean the kitchen daily and throw my kids a few scraps of food several times a day. We pick up the main living spaces. There are no toys, books, or junk allowed outside of their rooms or basement.

But SuperMom I am not. I work in yoga pants and flip flops most days. I drink a lot of caffeine. My kids look at me strangely when my head's not sporting a pony tail. I'm all about the one-pot dinner, or better yet, crock pot meals. Take Out, in my opinion, is pure genius. If you threaten to drop in at my house, I would be positively mortified and probably not answer the door without adequate warning. I need at least an hour before guests. Preferably 3. My kids' closets vary between 2-3 seasons outdated, and if they don't grow much that year sometimes the stuff never gets updated until they do. I don't make my bed 6:7 days a week, and can't rightfully ask my children to do so. My kids think pajamas are something you can change into when you wake up, as long as you didn't sleep in them. Trouble most often wears either a top or a bottom but catching him in both is a good day. The boybarians are always barefoot, usually wearing capes, and often underpants on their heads. They usually arm themselves with light sabers, vacuum cleaner parts, parts of Halloween Costumes past, and anything else that resembles either a weapon or a superhero accessory. Laundry is often prompted by shouting from a boybarian closet admitting he's used his last pair of underpants on his head for a costume, and no longer has any for the parts they were intended to cover. Picasso wears a blanket/cape nearly every day. Einstein recently decided shirts make him "too hot" and Trouble still wears his underpants backwards - allowing him to see the super cool design meant to cover his bottom, but creating a total wedgie in back with his buns hanging out, and making the front sag. More times than I'd like to admit, the beds have been stripped and the linens piled high so the boybarians can make forts or a soft place to land when they run and jump. It is never quiet here. Ever. In every single one of my many work conference calls, I gratefully praise whomever invented the mute button because I'm sure I can credit my continued employment to him/her.

So I finally admitted I'm not catching up. I need reinforcements. My darling, darling husband finally broke down and hired someone to come help around the house a few times a month. I could kiss her, but... well... that would be an awkward way to start a new job, doncha think? Well, maybe just a little smooch - but only on her first day. *grin*

I feel such a huge sense of relief. Thank you Handy Man. You're the best. I'm so grateful for the time that will free up. What a gift time is! Relieved and grateful - and it's absolutely worth admitting I'm not SuperMom.

Weekly Report 10-11

Finally! My weekly report. As a reward for your patience I uploaded *lots* of pictures.

These last two weeks have been definite lessons in schooling during distraction. We had every possible interruption, noise, distraction, anti-learning atmosphere imaginable - yet we still managed to get a fair amount done. Admittedly, these past 10 days of school won't be ones for the record books.

We had about 6 men here everyday. Each man has some sort of noisy tool - saws, mallets, nail guns. Our walls were shaking and pounding as we tried to work. And my boys were so impressed that the guys spoke a whole 'nother language. "What are they saying, Mom?" "Can I go count to ten for them? Please Mom?!" My kids would have sat on the stairs just listening to the exotic sounds of foreign tongue all week if I'd have let them. Monday we had a 3-hour long doctor appointment. Then on Friday, we had our pest control guy here (armed with a "spider web catcher"; a personal hero to any boy who loves critters) and both UPS and Fed-Ex guys came within 10 minutes of each other to bring our birthday boy his gifts. Prior to their arrival, I had to spend way too many minutes on the phone with the lady at the UPS office giving directions to our somewhat secluded lot.

So what was all the noise about? Well, we are no longer completely The Scourge of the Neighborhood! The Hardy Plank is up. They should be done next week with trim and cedar shakes in front. Gone forever is Tyvek wrapping! The house is really looking like a house now instead of a construction project. Granted, we still have no landscaping, so the dirty looks from Mr. PerfectlyManicuredLawn across the street still continue. Ah well, we can't win 'em all. We are really nice people - I swear. There's got to be a life lesson in being despised for shrubbery, right? We are also getting the basement framed. Up until this week it was nothing but cement and insulation. The boys used it to ride their bikes. Now we have the makings of walls. Having this project done would nearly double our living and storage space. Saaa-wweeeeeeet - more place for books!

So here it is, the "Opus of the Distracted" - Picasso first, then Einstein:

Thanks for visiting. Come again soon!

Scourge of the Neighborhood

First, I need to brag on a grammar, writing, language program we just invested in about a month ago. It is a phonics-based spelling program that also focuses on cursive writing early. I have to show the beautiful work that 6-year-old Einstein did today. He writes more beautifully than I do, and MUCH more beautifully than Handy Man, who thinks the only difference between capitol letters and lower case letters is that the former is taller. He writes like an architect. Oh, wait... hee hee.

Oh and guess what?! Masons are coming to my house soon, very soon, and that means... TA DA... we won't be the scourge of the neighborhood for too much longer. Our house will not remain forever wrapped in Tyvek sheeting. (If you're one of my neighbors, we're really sorry. We blame Mother Nature entirely!) Soon our house will have stone on the lower half, up to the windows, Hardy Plank siding on the top portion and cedar shanks in the dippity-dos (that's wife-speak for in between the pointy parts). Pictures to come soon. In the meantime, I'll post our neighborhood scourge pic of our house. Too bad I didn't get a pic of the dirty looks my neighbor gave us last weekend while he was picking up sticks in his perfectly manicured lawn, because he looked like he wanted to light our house on fire.




And even though those pictures were taken last summer... the exterior really doesn't look much different. The back still looks like this, only muddier, with windows.


Wait'll they find out we're lousy landscapers, too.

An Hour on the Phone with Dell

I have made a few attemps to update my blog over the last few days, each ending with it being deleted and lost in cyberspace. I hope Blogger is more user-friendly than this or I may abandon all hope.

We have a new computer. It's smarter than I am. No, really. Fortunately with said new computer I purchased the 'New Computers for Dummies' package, otherwise known as a year of tech support. I even bought the 'New Computers for Super-Dummies' package which means if I really screw it up, someone from Dell will actually come to my house and save my computer from me. Anyway, all I wanted to do is upload some photos from my nify Nikon D-70s but Vista has hijacked my media card reader - apparently because of operator error. (See what I go through for you, Denise?)

So I decide to try the live chat with a techie option. I explain the problem to the tech support guy. He gives me a big list of necessary operations needed to get my computer to recognize the media card reader, ending with having to reboot the computer and thus disconnecting the chat. He then expects for me to figure out how to resume the chat. When I fail to find it, he calls me at home to chastize me for my inabilty to follow directions.

Hearing his name and accent, and the accents of everyone in the noisy backround he was in, I gathered he was in India. I decided to imagine I was talking to Mohinder Suresh so I wouldn't get angry. It worked. Somehow getting a stern 'talking to' from a Dell techie was enjoyable.

MMM MMMM MMMMMohinder explains how to make sure my media card reader is working and I thoughtfully write it all down. I then manage to upload a set from one card before the darn thing disables itself again. Seriously?! I am almost tempted to call back because 1- I'm a glutton for punishment and 2- I just liked hearing the sexy Indian accent and Heroes is on hiatus right now. Fortunately, I've written down all of Mohinder's advice and manage to fix it myself. Yaaaaaayyyy me.

Turns out you have to give the OS permission to eject prior to pulling the media card reader out of the slot or it decides that you ought not have the privelege to use it. Lesson learned.

So after all that hard work, 3 attempts at a blog... somehow posting the pics feels anticlimactic. But, here they are anyway.