Trick-or-Treat, Boybarian Style

Real Star Wars guys have taken over Iowa. Tonight they could be seen begging door-to-door. And I might be biased, but they were the cutest, errr most handsome creatures I had ever seen.

We weren't sure little Trouble would go. But it had been 36 hours since his last incident. He had no fever, no symptoms, and his little heart just wouldn't have survived the heart break of staying home.

Last year, he and Picasso made it to exactly one house. This year - with Handy Man pulling the wagon, and Darth Vader walking alongside the whole way, they made it two full hours and hit every house in a 1 mile radious that had a porch light on. And you should see the Jedi loot they came home with; even Darth Vader looked pleased.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

"Grrroooooooooossssss!"

"Mom! Trouble made another poopy puddle in the schoolroom!"

This was all screamed while my boss was going over goals and objectives for the rest of 2007 and getting started in 2008. Poor guy had to hear me threaten to gag and wretch and quickly mutter "I gotta go!". He does NOT get paid enough to hear about Trouble's bodily fluids.

Trouble has been sick for 9 days. Strangely, he was better toward the end of last week and doing great over the weekend, only getting sick once each night. Seems now we're back to square one. What a nasty bug this is. I think he's giving it back to himself... like a mutating, never-ending virus. I've already gone through a whole bottle of Resolve, 1/2 can of Lysol, and made Handy Man hose down *outside* Trouble's sheets, comforter and blankets before washing them twice in 140 degree water. We just can't seem to shake it.

As a result, I've not been able to be bloggeriffic or even blog-mediocre. I've just been MIA. I hope we turn a corner. We got very little school done last week, as I followed Trouble around saying, "Please don't puke on the new carpet. Please puke in your bowl." That kind of stuff was not in my Mom Manual. (He threw up on the new carpet anyway.)

In school news, Picasso has finished his first math book. Today he started Horizons Grade 2, book 1 and Singapore 1B. He is liking math and it looks like he'll keep a good pace. I am even more pleased about his copywork. He can now do 4 sentences in one sitting *without* batting a lash. Copywork is such an under-estimated tool.

Einstein seems be approaching burn out. He used to be such an enthusiastic student, but lately he stalls, goes to the bathroom, gets hungry, thirsty, distracted, etc. constantly in order to put off lessons. Once he gets going he isn't struggling or extraordinarily unhappy. Just willful. Bored, maybe? I don't know. He'll say, "It's too hard!" then whip through 3 pages in about 10 minutes without any errors. I don't believe the work is too hard. It may be too easy, or he may just feel like being difficult. Either way, I need to find a way to turn around the "school isn't fun. I just want to play." attitude. He plays most of the day. He gets lots of free time for Legos, Star Wars games, dress up, etc. Maybe this is part of pushing the boundaries? Either way, my response of "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, I think what we do is fun." isn't cutting it anymore.

Off to change another super-fun Pull-Up.

Wordless Wednesday at LWM3B

When Mom's Away...

... boybarians will play!

I spent a few days in Washington D.C. for work. I work for a big non-profit and we all assembled in The Capitol to help make change for America's babies. It was also a conference for our volunteer leaders. It was a great event. I, the Joe Photo, did not get out my camera even once. But Carissa took some, so I have something to post. Thanks Carissa! Here is one of Dainty, me and K-Co after a long day of conferences:



And look at these pretty, pretty volunteers. I have the best job in the world! Top is K-Co, bottom is Carissa and J-bug.



So how did Handy Man fare?

He's such a show off! My mom came to help for several of the days, and the boybarians were in great hands. Who better to watch 3 wild boys than an ER nurse who happens to be their Nanie? After she left, he really upped the game. They made orange pancakes with cool Halloween-shaped cutters. He took them to a place where they can all paint ceramics. They are still talking about it. Then, to really show me how easy it is, he blew all the leaves off the lawn and trimmed all our trees (lots!). The house was in pretty good shape. I am impressed. Even more impressive, Trouble came down with a tummy bug on Sunday and Handy Man dealt with stuff coming out of our 4 year old in ways it should not. ;)

Trouble has rotavirus. So far, the others are okay. The poor boy has yucked up many outfits, me, his bedding, my bedding and taken several baths. Through it all he bounces up in between "rounds" and is boybaric and happy as ever. What a little champ. Smelly, but very cute.

Here they are getting ready to paint:

Punkin' Patch Ranch

Fall never feels like fall until we've hit a local pumpkin patch. This year was so much fun. We're relatively new to our area; the local place was brand new to us. What a fun place. We made a Saturday appointment to meet our landscape designer - a young, smart girl who asked my preferences about plants and trees I'd never heard of. Our yard has nothing yet, mostly dirt with some sod in front. She mentioned that there was "stuff for kids to do" at the nursery, and she wasn't kidding. 120 acres of kid heaven! There were bounce houses and slide, marshmallow roasting, hay rack rides, pumpkin picking, tricycle track racing, a snack bar and football toss statues. It was like little boy paradise. So while Handy Man went over our floor plan and the perimeter of the house, the boys and I got started on the fun stuff.

This week'll be a short one for the boybarians. I'm traveling for work this week, and the boys get "Nanie time". They won't miss me even for a second.

Weekly Report 13

Can you hear the chorus of angels over Iowa?

Mark the calendars! Sing the Hallelujah chorus! Einstein has written his very first ever original sentences. He has never written an independent sentence before. So we've upped the focus around here on copywork. And much to my surprise, when I handed him the blank lines with a picture of Gulliver on top, he didn't melt into an Einstein puddle. He did balk a little, but only because he didn't know what to write. This is a whole different issue than knowing how to write it. Once he decided what to write, the actual writing went pretty smoothly. We have rounded a corner. I don't want to freak him out, but I am so stinkin' excited about this.



It's in our video, but I thought it deserved it's own picture, too. Waaaaawhhhoooo!

So, here it is! Our weekly report for week 13:

I did NOT run out of things to blog about.

Okay, I have to admit something about the blogosphere. I don't really get this whole tag thing. I've been sent a few and conveniently ignored them (sorry, I have no blogo-manners. I was born in a barn. So was Jesus, so I think we're good.) Why do people send them? I've always figured they ran out of things to blog about, so they did a meme-a-tag-a-whatumacallit and called it a blog.

But, I dunno, maybe someone actually wants to know my answers. Or not. In any case, most of you don't really know me so I could lie my pants off you'd never know. So below are my answers. And you knew this was coming. TAG! You're it.


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Um, yes.

2. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
If they're being good, they're mine. If not, they're Handy Man's.

3. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes, but I'd always come prepared with coffee and never call me before 8 am, or wake me up. Ever.

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Never!

5. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Not since 1979.

6. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Good gracious no. Except I did once. Then I threw up in a port-o-potty.

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Frosted Mini-Wheats with peanut butter. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

8. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I buy slip ons for this very reason.

9. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Ummm... well. can I come back to this one?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
uh-huh.

11. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I'm not very observant. Once, I looked over at Handy Man and noticed he had a beard. I was like, "Holy Crap!" And he was like, "What?!" and I was like, "You have a beard!" And he was like, "Yup, for like at least a week."

12. RED OR PINK?
Red is for boys. Pink is for girls. Ask any boybarian.

13. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Did I lose one of them?

14. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Good gracious... please don't.

15. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Tee hee. I'm wearing pants that have Christmas trees and snowflakes on them. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Shoes, nope. No shoes allowed in the house.

16. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ?
ummmm... what was the question?

17. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Handy Man snoring on the couch. My own manic typing trying to finish all these questions.

18. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I'm not sure, but I think if I were a crayon I'd at least get out of blogger-tag-memes.

19. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Good ones. Meaning not ones I've dealt with today like cat vomit, poopy pants, and the stew I forgot I made and never froze even though I meant to.

20. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The cell phone bill auto-matrix pay thingy-girl. Does she count?

21. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Not anymore. ;)

22. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
*breaks out in song* Bear down, Chicago Bears! You're the pride and joy of Illinois!

23. HAIR COLOR?
Brown #3a - since I was 16.

24. EYE COLOR?
That reminds me, I really need to schedule Trouble's opth check up.

25. FAVORITE FOOD?
Oh my gosh. This questionnaire will never end. Ever.


26. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I watched Disney's "Watchers in the Woods" once. I didn't look in a mirror for 3 months. Thankfully, I was already in a weird pre-teen awkward stage so it probably didn't matter.


27. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I can't even remember what I had for dinner.

28. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Orange. (Phew, that was an easy one)

29. SUMMER OR WINTER?
It's been fall since sometime in September.

30. HUGS OR KISSES?
Only if you're Handy Man. Or at least buy me dinner first.

31. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Yes.

32. WHAT BOOK( s) ARE YOU READING NOW?
Gulliver's Travels, Little Men,

33. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
"DELL" It's a one of a kind. ;)

34. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Oh crap, I knew this was coming. I'm not telling. So there.

35. FAVORITE SOUND?
Seriously? People have favorite sounds?

36. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
NO thanks. But I have a funny story about how once Handy Man tried to convince me to name our middle child McCartney. Seriously. If you knew our last name this would be even funnier. McCartney. (On a side note, if you named your child that, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.)

37. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Not sure what's farther - Prague or Greece.

38. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Oh yeah. Girlz got skillz. Whatever that means.

Oh. my. gosh. 38 questions. I thought it would never end. But it did. So now it's YOUR turn. Na na na na boo boo.

Up he grows.

He's four. He's gorgeous. And now, he can reach the light switch.



It may seem like a small milestone - reaching the light switch. Ah... but the independence of this is huge. No more nearly peeing his pants because he's afraid to go potty in the dark. No more screaming out at night because the darkness of the country is darkness like no other.

It does mean that the lights went on in his room more than a dozen times last night. Just when I thought he was asleep, I would hear, "Mom?" and the light would flip on. This went on until midnight. Every 5 to 10 minutes, just to "see". Then he'd switch it back off and scuttle back to bed.

Makes me wonder how he was coping when he was too short to reach. In the meantime, poor poor Picasso, who shares a room with Trouble.

Wordless Wednesday at LWM3B

Weekly Report: Week 12

See below for the hilarious reveal of Handy Man's Box.


Here is our weekly report.

Handy Man's Box - The Reveal

Oh my, was that a lot of laughs. My tummy hurts! Sorry for the delay. It's taken me over 2 hours to figure out how to publish a movie so you all could see it. The movie was too big for Blogger's lame little movie feature.

In preparation for the event, Handy Man went digging into the depths of our closet and pulled out his oldest items of clothing. He dressed himself in a hat he bought from the Iowa State University bookstore in 1989, the ugliest shirt in the universe bought at Eddie Bauer at the Oak Brook Mall 1993 (I hid it once, to see if he missed it. I almost trashed it, but he found it hidden when we packed to move! Soooo close!) and those jeans. The acid washed, faded jeans - Eddie Bauer - purchased to match the above ugly shirt. I just hate that he still fits in the same jeans he wore 14 years ago. What a brat! And those fluorescent orange gloves? I have no explanation for the gloves.

So here it is, the inventory list:
Porsche 911 model car (Hmmmm, Handy Man loves Porsche 911s)
Trapper Keeper
Box of Checks
markers and pens (still work!)
double sided tape
Christmas replacement lights
Card from Mother
Woodworking and Architectural magazines (are you sensing something here???)
Ink Toner for a copy machine (????)
Architectural sketches (hmmm, I'm starting to get some suspicions, here...)
a lecture pointer (huh?)
an empty notebook
a telephone message book (no messages in there from ex-roommate's mother to be found!)
University Fitness Club pass
Floppy disks (I about busted a gut on this one!)
a cardboard dinosaur box (what the ????)
a car window ice scraper
a book entitled, "The Southwest Beauty" (Ha! it's about deserts, not girls!)
Drawing triangle (seriously, this is looking suspiciously Handy Man-ish!)
Pictures (strangely enough of 2 of Handy Man's sisters!)

So... after all this. The waiting... the suspense...

The box is *his* after all. Now aren't you glad we didn't just ship it to his female, ex-roommate's mother? Boy, that would have been embarrassing. I can see it now:

"But Handy Man, love of my life, all this stuff belongs to you. But I'm sosooooo glad you tracked me down after all these years..."

And the winner?!

We actually had a 5-way tie, with Mom2LegoManiacs, Christy, LisaWa, Heather and Jennefer each guessing 3 correct items. But since time prevails in the event of a tie... Congrats Mom2LegoManiacs! Shoot me an email. You get the Starbucks giftcard.

Geraldo's Got Nothin' on Handy Man

Do you remember when Geraldo, with his moustache and daytime TV dramatics, attempted to break open Al Capone's vault? Okay, I don't remember it; that was April 1986 and back then, I had pig tails and wore a red-white-and-blue plaid Catholic school uniform. The lore, however, of the fruitless 2-hour, live, prime-time tv show lives on.

Tune in this Saturday afternoon. Your votes have spoken! Handy Man's box will be opened. And I, with my 3 cameras, 2 digital camcorders, and a partridge in a pear tree, will be there so you don't miss a thing.

And this will be no Al Capone's Vault.



Ultimately, the words of my friend Karen resonated and she found the words I was looking for.

"I am a woman and I know women and she is sure to read into the fact that he has held onto this box for so many years."

You're right Karen. If I had a boy ex-roommate, with whom I was "totally in love" and I left him with the care of my mother's stuff (uhhhh... who does that anyway?! Is that a stunt like leaving something behind so he'll have to call?) and he called me a decade and a half later - I'd consider that totally loaded.

This is just screaming *CONTEST* to me! And so, I announce Life With My 3 Boybarian's second-ever contest.

So, rules:
You may enter once (yes, I can see your IP addresses!).
You may list up to, but not more than, 5 possible items.
Whoever has the most correct items wins.
In the event of a tie, earlier time prevails.
Contest closes Saturday morning at 10 am central standard time.
No, I won't ship the amazing, wonderful, fantastic prize to Guatalahara, Timbuktu or the Great Wall of China.

Winner goes home with a $10 Starbucks Giftcard. You can get 2 great drinks, on Handy Man (Shhhh! He's buying. Don't tell!). I really recommend the Pumpkin Spice latte' this time of year. Starbucks claims their sales climb by 11% during the time of year when this lil-bit-of-heaven-in-a-cup is offered.



And I believe I account for at least 10.5% of those increased sales.

Enter now! :)

Pretty Pretty Boybarians

Update on The Box (see below and vote!).

Handy Man thinks it was negligent of me to leave out the fact that his roommate was a girl. He thinks it might change the way you vote. "She was totally in love with me!" claims Handy Man (take that with a grain of, well, somethin') and although he had no such feelings for her, and was romantically involved with someone else (with whom he did not live), he thinks it's significant in the vote. Finding her may be hard if she's since married; and he hasn't talked to her in 14 years.

So, there ya' have it. He has his *female*, ex-roommate's mother's unknown contents in a box that he's been carrying around for 8 moves for over 14 years. Does it change your vote?

Onward! I love my camera. Okay, technically, it's Handy Man's camera. But I love it. I love the way it clicks and captures, instantaneously, all those wild'n'crazy boybarian antics. I love cameras in general, and am known to travel with 3 of them (I might have OCD). Since I can't bottle up the boybarians and keep them young and like this forever, I can only stalk them like paparazzi and capture as many magical moments of their youth as possible. Here are a few of those magic moments with the beautiful colors of Fall in the Midwest. Click to enlarge, if you wish.

Trouble, 4, thinks, "They are cwwwwunchy!"


Ahhhh, forget snow angels. Boybarians make foliage angels.


I love child labor.


Even Einstein doesn't mind. 2.5 acres to go, buddy. Get rakin'!

So this one's blurry, but it's Joy in mid-air. And Picasso said, "Show that one to your computer friends, Mom!"

Computer friends! *snort*

Doesn't Picasso look brilliant in his new glasses?

"I'm 6 now." *sigh*

The Box

Handy Man is, verifiably, a pack rat. I've known this about him since we met. Well, maybe not the moment we met, but certainly the moment we shared a home for the first time. Everything I could call my own back then fit in the trunk of a 1993 Dodge Intrepid. Not so with Handy Man. Granted he was an "older man" (a mature 28 to my 24), and had longer to accumulate stuff... but with Handy Man came boxes and boxes of stuff. He didn't actually unpack most of it. Instead it remained piled in our basements or garages for move, after move, after move.

Handy Man has moved 8 times since graduating college more than 14 years ago. Most recently, he designed and built our new home which was just completed (well...) earlier this year. With him, again came all those boxes.

This weekend, Handy Man took on the huge job of cleaning and organizing our garages. This was no simple chore. We've never parked in either of them because they've been filled with saw horses, tile cutters, building materials and scraps, sawdust, and again, those pesky boxes.

So I finally get around to asking him what he'll do with them. "Well, this one we can unpack and that one we'll move into the basement."

"What about that one?" I ask, pointing to a dusty box in a pile.

"Oh, that? It's not mine."

Huh? What?

"Not yours? What do you mean not yours? Who's box is it?" Gracious. Not only is he a pack rat, but now he's hoarding other people's stuff.

"Well, what's in it?" Surely he knows that.

"I've never opened it." He says, matter-of-factly, like it's normal that he has a box that doesn't belong to him in our garage, contents unknown.

By now, Handy Man is looking amused. He's laughing. He is insane.

"The box belongs to the mother of my roommate I lived with for a few months after college."

Oh. Well. His ex-roommate's mother's stuff. That makes perfect sense. Of course he has his ex-roommate's mother's stuff.

"Ummm, Handy Man? What year did you live with this roommate?"

"1994. For about 9 months."

"And you have carried this box of stuff, your ex-roommate's mother's unknown contents, to 8 different houses over the last almost 15 years. And you have NO idea what's in it?"

"Right." He is looking at me like it's completely rational, and I'm looking at him like he has three heads.

"Well, open it." I demand. "Let's see what you've been hauling around for the last decade and a half.

"It's not mine" he objects.

So, dear readers, what should Handy Man do? Should he open the box? Throw it away? Hang on it around for another decade and a half? Try and find his ex-roommate's mother and ship it? I'm creating a poll. You tell me what Handy Man should do.